When it comes to the cribs of the rich and famous, none are complete without the home cinema projector. And let’s face it, if you have the average two up, two down a home cinema projector system is going to look a little silly crammed between the wall and the door frame. You’d get a stiff neck trying to watch all the screen and your nan would drive you crazy shuffling backwards and forwards with cups of cocoa.

So, these state-of-the-art entertainment systems are best left to those who have homes large enough to accommodate a basketball court in their bathroom. And this is where you’ll find the home cinema projector most at home. Either suspended from the ceiling and projected onto a screen, actually make that a complete wall, or they will be creations that project your favourite film from a free standing projector.

These are not just stuck in a living room, they will have complete rooms dedicated to their use. The Odeon has nothing on these places! First and foremost, those who install a home cinema projector will soundproof their chosen room. No, there will be no egg boxes on the wall here! This is proper, industrial soundproofing that comes with a high price tag.

The next absolute essential in this room is the plush seating. No hard backed, knee squashers here, no chance of leg cramp or kicking the person in front of you. Dependent on the owner’s intention of how many people he plans to entertain, there will be anything from a couple of comfy chairs to a whole arrangement of cushions, armchairs and sofas. The one thing I’ve never seen in an episode of cribs is a duvet! Who would dream of having their own cinema room without a duvet?

From what I have seen, home cinema projectors are at home in a room with a 6in thick luxurious carpet. The room should be decorated in ambient colours, namely deep reds, russets, you get the idea. No minimalist blacks and whites here. It has to feel like an authentic cinema but without the need to dress up.

There surely can’t be anything like feeling as though you’re going to the cinema but being able to go in your pyjamas. Of course, there is no ice cream lady anymore but this is where your nan comes back into play. Give her a pinny and a tray suspended from her neck, fill it will all the things you like beforehand, whether that be ice cream or banana and pickle sandwiches and either install a bell to summon her or give her an allotted time to do her duty.

She may not like this but that’s the great thing about getting older. You’re bigger than her these days. Of course, you may well come home one day to find her having installed herself on your sofa with her own supply of fig rolls and horlicks. If you can stand this and if she doesn’t mind hovering out the crumbs when she’s finished, then let her be. You may well get a better service next time you have your mates over. Just ensure you have plastic covers on the seats when you’re not around to allow for any accidents she may have!